Untitled Document

Scene: Shamrock driving home across the Grand Island Bridge.

Sham: "Is my car at your house?"

----------------------------------------------------------

Matt Bergey : "I am the beer of the chooser!"

----------------------------------------------------------

Jessica: i had to change my shirt in the car.

Wizner: That sounds quite auto-erotic.

----------------------------------------------------------

as some of you may know, my phone is unable to receive text messeges. so the other day at work i was surprised to see its screen flashing that i had in internet special messege through sprintpcs.com. so i figured they may be changing my phone service or disconnecting my old phone so i had to see what it was about. i had to call sprint for about a half an hour, getting my office's EIN and dad's social and other things to convince sprint to give me a password to check this thing through there sight. After getting all that and logged i had to transfer the URL information link from my phone to computer by hand typing in the 100 or so letters and ? marks and such. Then i had to retype them all from my phone cuz the it was apparently case sensitive. Finally after an hour of jerk'n around at work i was finally able to see the messege, it quickly popped up, saying it was from Mike Boniello and was a pic of a girl fisting herself.

that's a productive work day

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

gene called and asked if i wanted anything from tim hortons, i said coffee and a bagel, his response "i can't afford that".

----------------------------------------------------------

Berg look'n at a picture " i'd make out with her"

Me: Well, you do know that's your sister don't you?

----------------------------------------------------------

When it's time to pee, it's time to leave. -jill

----------------------------------------------------------

STOPA on Friday, in July : She can't come out tonight, she says she has homework.

The next night and a different girl, STOPA: She can't do anything cuz she has church tomorrow.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

billy bad ass's sabres jersey is back in style, how fun

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Auto response from ArmyangelNY: I am officially addicted to RuneScape...thanks!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Fucko: I'm taking a trip, i need to get out of New York.

Me: Where are you going?

Fucko: New York City

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Gene talking about the Hendershot "I've never seen someone throw themselves out of the Bills game before"

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

DukeHockey: gene's in the middle of a loot distribution meeting.
betterguy5: i dont know what that means and i'd like to keep it that way

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In honor of mahoney's return to town

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

One game, Al Iafrate had a breakaway with the other team's goalie pulled, he rifled

the puck into the corner, when asked why he said "Empty net goals are for faggots"

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

agnello chills with ponzi

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Alaina: "I would much rather hook up with lindy ruff than briere",

a few minutes later "my dad looks just like lindy ruff"

---------------------------------------------------------------------

lil' shamrock: "if i was drunk i would have so much fun with this dog"

--------------------------------------------------------------------

----------------------------------------------------------------------

chuck norris

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Playoffs!??!!?!?!?? PLAYOFFS??!!?!!!????? -Jim Mora

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Phil::When I saw the first headline, I wanted to share as an example of just how seriously

"social evils"are taken in Vietnam.

However, the second headline appearing on the same page as the first seemed quite humorous…

HEADLINES FROM THE SAME PAGE OF THE VIETNAM NEWS LAST WEEK

1) "Six Sentenced To Death In Drug Case"

2) "Tougher Action Against Drug Trafficking Ordered"
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

sCORIOo: some bitch with curly hair called cavese a piece of shit because he didnt have a job.

haha then i called her a cunt. she was dea

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

my goal in life is to never have a conversation in front of a doorway -jesse

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The "Free 10 day Guest Pass" in WoW, should be illegal. It is far worse then cocaine

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

CaReBeAr FLUF:: how many blow jobs do i have to give to get a decent fucking salary

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

SoCcErGOaLiE1789 [5:09 PM]: i like oinkers
DukeHockey [5:09 PM]: i know you like oinkers, but i am gonna run late tongiht anyway

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

the ol' Tan & Tug - Jesse

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

........and i even kept my sneakers on. -lil ' perri

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Shamrock at Denny's

"i'd do that fat girl, but first i'd eat her ice cream"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Eat'n aint cheat'n - some woman's last words

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

breakfast is like ironing and bigfoot, sure they might exist, but who cares.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

kudela sez" you need to go on a long losing streak before you can go on a long winning streak"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(steph and eris playing cards)
steph: where sre you going?
korp: over here, im gonna sit here and watch you two play with each other.
steph: why dont you just play with yourself.
korp: As long as you two keep playing with each other i will galdly play with myself!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"My pants are always wet" - Autumn

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The McDonald's Contest at the Bills game is rigged. Tell the people.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

According to my concert research, cell phones are going to put glow sticks out of business.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

PrinceM5 (6:36:40 PM): zander, sandonato, and meare sitting in my driveway

waiting to go 4 wheeling, we see shamrock driving down creek road toward his house
he see us sitting there, goes to swerve joking around, and as he swerved toward my

driveway, so some reasont he retard i guess didn't pay attention,

or is boarder line retarded cause he runs right over my mailbox

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"By the way, the dry cleaning bill was $52" -- some sorority girl to some jerk

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

CanT Run My R6 : this is what i think about tim hortons hot apple cider
if u think about it it is kinda like Atlantis. . . u know its out there its just the

effort of going to it. . then when u taste the victioy or it 1 time. . .ur doomed

forever to its sweet nectar

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"I'm having trouble getting over there, this place is like an obstacle illusion. "

-some punk kid at the orchard park hs football game.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"it's not my fault i'm a millionaire" -some jerk tommy two guns

in a box at the bills game.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jonas Jennings Loves McNuggets, that fact is the best thing to

come out of the last bills game.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why is Maize america's favorite non-english word / fact ?

I think it's because its fun to remind us how easily we beat the indians.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"The best thing about loving and being hurt is that you get to know what true

love really is. For as gold is tested in fire, and so will love be perfected in pain."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sham: "Can you give me a ride home?"

Missy: "I can't..... I have to work in 12 hours"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"i'm not going... until you give me back my trophies."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

canadian guys "are u americans democrats or republicans? John Kerry all the way!"
zucco in confusion.."wait! can canadians can vote for our president?!"

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

some sorority girl we all know "i just did a little coke of tommy's bumper"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

aj - "would you rather have Susan B. Anthony or that Indian chick,

i mean Susan B. Anthony is Ugly, but the Indian chick has a Kid"

gene - "i'll take the kid"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

aj, get a ruler - nolle

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

some sorority girl we all know: "i just went skinny dipping with

two guys over 6' 2" ".

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

i'm dumping you until sunday, just to see if i like it or not.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

it's completely unnecessary to have a colored phone......

the same goes for friends.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

the mcdonalds at military and the blvd has pump your own sweet

and sour sauce.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

what a terrible night to have a curse.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
beros went to Clemson & NCSU, but only appears in a Duke yearbook

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

rides home from buffalo thanks to jenna, 3.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

I never got my water skit

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

NYC Michele: We lucked out, our teacher got cancer!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

L-quist: let me know if you're in the area,

Although I can't promise anything as sybaritic as is your wont.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Everyone's Favorite Daily Bouncer.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If you dont' know the difference between

Meep, Meh, and Mer, most people probably

hate you.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Euchre at Lisa's:

Gene: I bought that wine for my gf the other day, i was trying to get

her drunk but that has barely any alcohol in it.

Lisa's Dad: Well, it doesn't take much alcohol to get a 13 year old drunk.

Now that's knowing your partner

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

aj: I like that picture.

jenna: shammy and i look cute together huh?
jenna : just kissing
jenna : i mean kidding
jenna : :-D

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bionic Commando, best video game ever

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

sugardoo1102 : so how was it?
DukeHockey : pretty good
sugardoo1102: good
DukeHockey : a fun trip, thanks
sugardoo1102 yea fun on me

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

PJPAUL77 [12:53 AM]: vachepache is truly insulting

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"There were alot of cute girls, but they all had bad kickers" -AC

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

SHAMROCK, on HI FINANCE:

Captain Cunt from the collection agency called to inform me that I missed my $10.00 min payment. (Ok fine little oversight
Captain Cunt: Mr. Shamrock, Do you realize you missed last month's payment of $10.00
Me: no, I don't believe I ever got a letter from u guys. Captain Cunt: Right, well would you like pay it this month since I'm giving you a phone call.
Me: How much do I owe?
Captain Cunt: Min payment is 60
Me how much was last months balance.
Captain Cunt: 50
Me: sooo, my min payment is more than last balance
Captain Cunt: Mr. Shamrock would you like to pay today or not
Me: (mmmm getting mad) listen, what's your name
Captain Cunt: would you like to make a payment at this time.
Me (now I'm just pissed off) ok listen do u have my mailing address in front of u right now?
Captain Cunt: yes
Me: Good, then you know where to come to KISS MY ASS!!!!!!@! (CLICK)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nice little part of the sabres game: when wayne on the kiss cam

leaned over to kiss jenny penny and she dissed him and left him

open for an arena full of mocking.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Best Bet of the Super Bowl, Deion Branch to score a touchdown, based

on Rod's recommendation, paid us 40 to 1.

Worst Bet, accepting Heads, even though everyone knows Tails never fails.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jan 25th; Jason Shamrock;

This is a dumb question, but who's in the superbowl?

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Scene: Poker Wednesday Night.Aaron's Phone rings.

His Mom: Where are you?

Aaron: I'm playing poker.

His Mom. Well you were supposed to pick me up at the airport an hour ago!!!

30 min later, Aaron leaves to pick her up.

---------------------------------------------------------------

Emily: Why is gene gay and why is shamrock fat?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

scene -- crowded concert; boom batty's friend dave gets girls number.

scene -- bar later that night; girl comes up to dave in the light; he takes out his phone.

girl: hi, what are you doing?

dave: i'm deleting your phone number.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why don't you go find some real girls?

STARTER: no these ARE real girls.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

GiMo2316: goodnight pallen

DukeHockey: sweet dreams peena

GiMo2316: ohh i get a p added to my name, this is the best day ever!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Itsmekmj [2:47 AM]: you're normally super lucky
DukeHockey [2:48 AM]: i know
DukeHockey [2:48 AM]: tha'ts why i am all dismayed
Itsmekmj [2:48 AM]: well it's only a phase
DukeHockey [2:49 AM]: MEH!!!!!!!
Itsmekmj [2:49 AM]: who was winning poker
DukeHockey [2:49 AM]: gene
Itsmekmj [2:49 AM]: well at least it wasn't anybody fat
Itsmekmj [2:50 AM]: haha

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

boulder14304@yahoo.com

that's billy bad ass's email. drop him a line

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

i just found some new peeps that play magic the

gathering, it's only a matter of time until i'm

sucked back into the abyss.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

ever refer to someone as "what's her name"

by accident and then realize that the person

you said it to thinks you said it on purpose

and then you feel like a real jerk? cuz that's

what happens.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

if there was some cocaine here, we'd probably all be playing battlestrip

battlestrip battlestrip

it's amazing battlestrip

miss B4, hit G6

battlestrip

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

DukeHockey: i am gonna make her wait around for it
slimmjim5 did she make out with another guy
DukeHockey: yep, a bit ago
slimmjim5 damn skanks
DukeHockey: so i haven't talked to her all week damn skanks indeed
slimmjim5 [1:57 PM]: they get the liquor in them and turn into sluts

lil' cousin bonding

------------------------------------------------------------

If my girl really did make out with Mike Smeal,

there will be trouble. <<<how ironic-ish>>>>

------------------------------------------------------------

GINA: i don't hate anyone. until they hook up with jim.

-------------------------------------------------------------

Gene: There is always 1 hot girl in Tim Hortons

AJ: Well not today.

THEN: Hot girl walks in front door.

AND promptly walks out the back door.

------------------------------------------------

POV: She gave me so many hickeys that i had

~~~~to tell my parents that i got into a fight.

------------------------------------------------

Josh: I would like like to make the statement that

another group of wanna-bees has bitten the dust.

After yet another convincing hockey win

-------------------------------------------------

AJ: I'd like to Mandy her Moore.

Matty-BOOM-Batty: The Moore the Mandier.

-------------------------------------------------

Haley: Why didn't you say hi?

Aj: I thought you two were bang'n.

Haley: No, we were watching the DVD in gene's

~~~~~room cuz he likes he's computer.

Aj: And dislikes his 45 inch TV?

-----------------------------------------------------

Grandpa: You want to do something instead of just

````````````sitting around here?

Matty Boom Batty: Yeah sure, i'm up for something.

Grandpa: Ok, get the hoe out of the garage and weed

````````````the garden.

-------------------------------------------------------

TRUSELLO: I can't wait to have kids, then i'll have

`````````````````someone to drink with.

---------------------------------------------------------

Bernos (when mack'n on erin):: what should we call my

``````````````````````````````````````new car?

Erin Shea (while looking at his first car): the trash can.

<<demoralizing him completely>>

------------------------------------------------------------

Aj: So i was talk'n with Colleen, she was driving around

with Melissa, oh and she was with Morawic at NCCC today.

Gene: Dear God, She's assembling all my ex-girlfriends to

rise against me.

Aj: My fav part is neither her or Katie even go to NCCC

-------------------------------------------------------------

Shawn McGarvey: Let's play pegger!

-------------------------------------------------------------

Josh "you know its pretty sad when the goalie THANKS

you for not scoring another goal on him"

-------------------------------------------------------------

duck: i hate 10 o'clock games.

aj: our next games our at 6, 8, 8, and 6

duck: all in the same day?

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Probethis140 (10:09:55 PM): words of wisdom

from dave..."DRINK LOTS OF ALCOHOL"

-------------------------------------------------------------

AJ: Hello, is Jason home?

Lil Shamrock: Well, he's still sleeping.

Timeline: 3pm during the Bills Game.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Walking from the car to beerhouse for the last time,

Shamrock walk's in front of some girl's parked car,

and then smashes into a handicapped parking sign.

Quite hilarious.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Katie: You called the retarded kid sweet cheeks? that's

mean.

James Hoyt: No, he liked it. Back in High School we had

nicknames for everyone, they called me Hoyt, i don't

know why.

-----------------------------------------------------------------
Joey Porther: Do you know how to sew? cuz i'm ripped.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bill, Marty and Jason in Buffalo.

Random Hot Girl: I'll be in a picture....

but <pointing at Marty> not with him.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

What's up with M & Ms needing your bday to sign you

up to their newsletter, i dont' want them know my age.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rodney's 1st rule of intramurals: you're only as good

as your girls.

---------------------------------------------------------------

KMJ: Hmmm, i'll guess that stick's 3 feet long.

<<<NOPE>>>, well is it a yard then?

ROD: Dear God

KMJ: You don't know how long a yard is.

ROD: 36 inches.

KMJ: HA! Wrong.

--------------------------------------------------------------

SOCIETY: Seneca Ave? Doesn't that put you two too

close to a high school?

Yes, yes it does.

--------------------------------------------------------------

CUSTOMS GUY: Come on, why do you guys have to

pee off the bridge?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Some old slob when gene and i were looking at houses:

can i fucking help you?

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Welcome to the International House of party, complete

with valet parking. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Mohinshu Trivedi

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Is Pian Playing?

Ian? He can't even spell Risk.

------------------------------------------------------------

Cowboys302 (10:42:49 AM): whats up
DukeHockey (10:42:54 AM): where r u
Cowboys302 (10:43:12 AM): baghdad
Cowboys302 (10:43:15 AM): its hot here

------------------------------------------------------------

What sucks more, Running or being with Al?

Running- makes you tired, sometimes sick, is boring, and

seems like it last forever

Being with Al- makes u tired of listing to him,

+All of the above

So what do you do when you go running with Al

A) Kill yourself
B) Kill Al and walk home
C) Say fuck it and stay happy and fat
D) Run in heavy traffic and let fate deal with it

---------Jason "Porky" Shamrock

-----------------------------------------------------------

halstorm4 (5:13:23 PM): al ... i wanna see the pics of

franks wedding

----------------------------------------------------------

Stick It 420: FUUUCK rem. that old chick i met. . . i put

her # in my phone as 875283 im so retarted i dident get

enough numbers

<WHY, WHY WOULD HE WANT IT>>

----------------------------------------------------------

Bernos: time for a game of hide the sausage

----------------------------------------------------------

Nicole and Destiny each with 24 beers, me and gene

with a six pack.

GENE: now i feel inadequate.

-----------------------------------------------------------

RUSS GETS HIS FIRST KILL, 11/21/03.

------------------------------------------------------------

...and after all that, then i kissed her.

------------------------------------------------------------

the key to making something sound extra classy is the

amount of time before you pause before saying 'classy'

when you are refering to it.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------